Scars

Today the strangest thing made me smile. I was sitting in my car, waiting impatiently for my mum, when I looked down and traced one of my scars with my fingertips, instantly bringing a grin to my face. It was then I got to thinking of the importance of scars.

While many of us look at our scars with disgust as majority of the times, in pure vanity, we hate the way they look; they are really so much more than ugly marks we should get rid of. Our scars tell our life stories; they show the world where we have been and what we have encountered. They enable our life journey to be etched on our skin. Scars give us character, and separate one individual to the next. Each scar we hold is distinctive, with its own unique memory attached to it. Some of these memories may not be so favourable, but each of these memories has made you what you are, and these marks are there to prove this. They are reminders of our past. I am lucky enough to have roughly seven great scars plastered all over my body. Each of these holds parts of my past that have been quite significant. Funnily enough, quite a few of them have resulted from several motorbike accidents (you think I would have learned to avoid them) that, while very scary at the time, still remind me of the fearless girl I used to be. Two of the others resulted from having moles cut out, and hold my great story of how these wounds were cut open twice from a doctor who (and yes I secretly have a crush on him) did not numb the area properly so I could feel most of the procedure. This was apparently a rarity, which relates to the fact that if anything could go wrong, it would happen to me. Let’s just say I am very accident prone, and my scars are reflective of this. There is also the scar to the left of my left eye, where my cousin pushed me into the corner of a cabinet, reminding me of our childhood memories and the little boy he once was. While others seem to think I would hate this scar, I secretly love it and feel that I would not be me without it. One of my final scars, occurred on the night of my 21^st. The boy whom gave me my first kiss also gave me this scar in a drunken state, when he lifted me up to give my first ‘dirty dancing’ experience, only to drop me resulting in a nasty, yet hilarious fall. I know that whenever I look at this scar I will think of him and smile.  That’s what I love about scars, they are flashbacks of the past, and when you look at them you reminisce on life’s journey and remember just how far you have come.

There are also those scars that are not so public. The ones hidden deep inside us. The ones that no one can see. These are the ones we hold in our hearts, and they grow bigger and bigger with every disappointment and heartache we encounter in life. They can occur from losing loved ones, broken relationships of any kind and any experiences that may hurt us. The thing about these scars is that they cannot be seen or touched, but only felt through emotions and understood only by us. We are the only ones who know the stories behind these scars, or the impact left as a result. These scars hold our own secrets and do not have to be shared with the world, as the memories connected to these scars are ones which we can keep to ourselves and are only shared when, or if, we feel we feel ready to do so. These scars may never fully heal, as they are not as easily remedied as those that occur to us physically. The best thing to do with these scars is to acknowledge them and give ourselves the time to recover. These scars also hold many memories, which at first we would rather forget, however eventually we can begin to smile about them and realise that these horrible times also held great positives and lead us on the path we were supposed to follow. Ironically, these wounds make us stronger and teach us life lessons that we would not have learnt other wise.  Once we realise this and appreciate the memories, we then know that we are in the healing process. It is also important that we remember to overcome the fear these scars left and to never be scared to start again. Scars, both those hidden within us, and those appearing on the outside, remind us of the paths we have taken and those future paths we still have to encounter, where the possibilities are endless.

So no matter what the scar is, show it off proudly, and do not try to hide it! It is part of you, and like me, you may one day look down at a scar and remember your great life story and smile…

Growing Pains

As I’ve grown I have leant many valuable lessons from many people and countless experiences. Thought I’d share a few things that have taught and inspired me.

1.  All relationships of any kind go through some tough times; if you can overcome all the drama, regardless of what it is, than that relationship is truly worthwhile. I believe that sometimes you need to make a mess of things as this is what makes relationships stronger and this is what enables you to learn from your mistakes.

2. I believe that pieces of something or someone from your past are supposed to stay with you forever. This is how we grow as each little fragment of the past builds up and makes us the people we are today. I believe we grow and learn from the past. I believe that you never truly forget people and experiences from the past as they are meant to be carried with you forever. 

3. I now understand that every single person is different and reacts to any situation in a different way. I’ve learnt to respect this. I think that people these days are so quick to judge, and the fact of the matter is that you cannot truly judge someone unless you have walked in their shoes and been through what they have. From personal experience, as soon as you judge someone, a similar or worse situation will happen to you, and it is only then that you realise the difficulty of certain circumstances.

4. I’ve leant that it is so easy to be angry and hurt the people you love most. Perhaps this is because we know that no matter what we do and how much we hurt these people, they will love us unconditionally. These people are worth keeping close to you.

5. From constant disappointment, I have learnt that no matter how hard you try to be there for someone and do anything you can for them, you just can’t please some people. This is so frustrating but you just learn to accept it and continue to be the best person you can be.

6. It’s funny how we  always seem to believe the negative things that people say about us, even when there is evidence to the contrary. We must learn to see the positives in ourselves. Our real friends see our positives regardless of what others may say and that is what is important. 

7. Family. As I’ve grown, my bond with family has strengthened and I now understand the importance of them. I am fortunate to have a large family and I love how we all get along so well. My family bring so many wonderful things to my life. I love how when you need them they are always there and form a support group to get through the darkest of times. I also love how you friends become a part of this family.

8. It still baffles me how quickly life can change. I understand that sometimes everything can go pear shaped and right before your eyes, your world is upside-down. But somehow you get through it and become a stronger person.

I’ll admit that change sometimes scares me but eventually I see that the change is a good thing and learn to embrace it.

9. I’ve learnt that good people always seem to go through the hardest situations in life, even when they don’t deserve it. I truly admire how some people can go through so much and still remain positive and come out as better people than most of us. These people mature and teach us that we mustn’t concern ourselves with irrelevant things. These people teach us how to live.

10. I believe music and life go hand in hand. I love how each song has a different memory connected to it and when you hear this song you begin to reminisce on the memory attached to it and the feelings that you had back them begin to come back. Music makes you feel and can bring clarity to life.

11. I can tell you that each person I surround myself with is truly amazing; I guess we are all a reflection of each other. Each person brings something special to your life and you can learn from each of these people and be inspired by them. I love how you share something special with each individual. Some people you can tell anything to and know they will never judge you, some people bring you so much laughter and joy, some people are there for you no matter what, some people can wipe away your tears and others can accept you regardless of your faults. Then there are those connections where you are so close to someone it’s like you feelings are intertwined and you know exactly how that person feels and you actually feel what they are feeling. I love these friendships the most.

12.  Break-ups. It’s funny how after years it can still hurt. I have come to understand that there is often no such thing as closure. The hurt is always there and I don’t think you ever truly get over someone, or the hurt attached.  I think it just gets to a place doesn’t hurt so much. You just have to keep telling yourself you are ok, until one day, miraculously, you are. In the end it comes down to yourself- you need to be strong and have the strength to move on and create new beginnings. Be satisfied that you did everything you could, but realise that sometimes you simply cannot be only one trying.

13. I know, such a cliché, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Don’t ever take for granted those chance encounters or random moments.  Don’t ever take for granted each day in life, because every day and fleeting moment is leading you on a path you are supposed to go. It’s just that sometimes it can take a while to figure out what that path, or reason is.

14. Sometimes we get so caught up in planning and worrying about every single aspect of our life. We must realise that we cannot plan our lives. Life is not a building that we can construct perfectly. We just have to live it and let it design itself.

15.  Always a worrier, I’ve now learnt that there is no point worry about every minuscule thing that happens in life, because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted. You must follow your heart and intuition, because somehow they already know what you want to become. What’s of even greater importance is to never lose your childish innocence; it will keep you happy and allow for great things to come your way!

16. L’amore e Cieco. Yes we all have that saying, because it is true everywhere.

17. As you grow, there comes a time where you must learn to love yourself. It is the most important relationship of all. Someone wise once said, ‘The biggest devil is me. I’m either my own best friend or my worst enemy’. In order to achieve any happiness in life, you must stop the battle with yourself, and love and appreciate yourself for who you are.

18. Finally, always remember that this is YOUR life. Do what you love, if you don’t like something CHANGE IT! Start doing the things you love. Stop over analyzing. Life is simple! Travel often. Get lost. Open your mind. Share your inspirations and dreams. When an opportunity arises, seize it! Go out and start creating! Life is short, so live your dream and wear your passion.

The Common Thread that Bound Us Together

It was my brothers 18^th that I truly realised the importance of the people surrounding me. We had just left largo as some shenanigan went down (which often happens with us) and each of us slowly made our way to sirens.  Looking around I saw each of us laughing and so happy with each other and it was then I had an epiphany. I recognized the importance of each of them and began to comprehend what we are together.

The first person I saw dancing around me is someone who I could not live without. He can make me so angry and, at times, makes my life so much harder. However, this person brings so much joy and happiness in my life, especially with his inappropriate sense of humour.  Despite everything, I love him so much and will always do my best to look out for him. He is yet to realise just how much I would do for him.

I look to my left, and there is she is, my best friend. Two souls intertwined so closely that we have the ability to know exactly how each other is thinking and feeling. I really could not imagine my life without this person. She always makes me smile and I know she will always be there for me, and I for her. All my memories in life have her in them and in so many ways she is like a soul mate. She is the greatest person I know and I’m honoured to have her in my life. I am what I am because of her.

I look ahead, and there cornered between two girls, is another amazing person. Someone, who to me has become a sister. This person is always there and this year we have become a lot closer. She is beautiful, both inside and out, and someday I hope I can repay her for all she does for me. I love this person a great deal and my memories with her endless.

I think back briefly to who is waiting for us at home. This person is like my brother. He has been through so much and I truly admire his ability to come out of it as such a strong person. The night felt incomplete without him, as he is someone who puts a smile on all our faces and will always look out for us no matter what. Under his exterior, is a heart of gold, and he is always, always about the love.

Above me, climbing the pole like a monkey is someone who, this year, I have become closer with. Again someone who has experienced grief that we wish we could take away. That’s the thing about my family, no matter how long it has been since we have spoken, when we need each other, each of us is there automatically- no questions asked. This person is admirable and is always trying to remain strong, when we know deep down he is hurting. He is also very dear to my heart.

Standing and watching is someone who, despite his hardships, is still the funniest man I know. His one-liners have the ability to leave each of us in fits of laughter and I’m so glad to see slowly that fragments of his old self are coming back. Each of us holds a special place for this person and love him to bits.

Before me, smiling with that same creep smile is a dear friend. She is so special to me, and one that has been with me through it all. She has become my family, as well as a best friend. One described this person, myself and another mentioned above as inseparable- a description, which fits us three well. I love this girl, and my memories with her date back to primary school. I am so grateful to share my life with her and cannot wait for many more memories to be made. My life wouldn’t be what it is today without her.

There are several other friends surrounding us, and they have become an extension to my family. So many memories and laughter have been shared with these people. These people have let us in and recognised who we really are. In turn, one great thing about us is that we are accepting and caring and bring these people in and let them become a part of us. At times I feel that this is our biggest downfall as we trust people so easily and always look for the best in them, and sometimes this backfires on us.

Then there is me. I don’t really know who I’ am yet. I’m still in the process of discovery. All I know is that I could not have gotten through this year, or my life, without each of these people. They are a part of me and mean everything to me.

Each of us has been through so much in our lives- perhaps this is why we are so protective of one another, we don’t want to see any of us hurting or allow any one to destroy what we are. No matter where our lives have taken us we always come back to each other. Sure, we drive each other insane and there is the fair share of fighting but at the end of the day it all comes back to love. All that is certain in this crazy world is each other and we will each do anything in our power to ensure this. To some, we may be viewed as crazy, alcoholic maniacs, but I wouldn’t want it any other way….